5 things that piss me off...

Guess who's back. Back again. Your favorite blogger that really does not blog! I have millions of ideas, but I never sit down and post them. Oh well! Maybe if I made a bunch of money of ads I would be a little more motivated I don't though, so suck it.

So, this is going to be a series I think. Lots of stuff pisses me off. The possibilities are endless.

5 things that piss me off - Editing a photo

1- People are NOT suppose to be orange. They are also not suppose to glow. Well, unless your pregnant  or some shit. Right hand up to Jesus Christ himself, if you move that Saturation marker any further to the right I will chop your hands off. It's really difficult to edit a photo with a nub. No one likes a nub. When you can see the grain of the photo becoming unstable, you are doing to much with the saturation. Calm down. 

2- Speaking of grain and things. I forbid you to touch the blur tool until you can learn to use it properly. I also forbid you to use the healing brush. People are suppose to have pores, freckles, and lines not look like blowup dolls. Everyone needs a touch up, but please don't erase the bridge of their nose. When a photographer over edits someones skin, a baby dies of dysentery. Fact. 

3- Eyes are suppose to look bright and vivid, but so help me lord, if you even think about getting out the paint brush selecting pure white and painting them, I will void all my bowels all over your bed or at least i'll void some of them anyway. That would be a big commitment. There is like 2 miles of it.

4 - If you use lens flare, you are an asshole and I take offense to the way you chose to live. Lens flare is a choice like being a homosexual is a choice. Lets all be straight and not render lens flares? Just kidding dicks are awesome.

5 - Last but not least, I can't see your super sweet photography skills because half the fucking picture is your logo. There shouldn't be a scrolling marquee going across the bottom of your shitty photo. It makes your already shitty photo look even more shittier...more shitty...shit. I wish a chronic illness unto you, Glory be.


I've worked myself up into a mood now so this concludes my post for today. I leave you with this thought to ponder-

You at some point came out of your mothers vagina and her parts tightly slid down your face or you were yanked out of a huge gash in her stomach. How does this make you feel? Let me know.


Amen.