None. Like, what? None. Okay, well maybe a few but in comparison to Abilene Texas it's pretty much none. I imagine my reaction to the few Mexicans I've seen is similar to the reaction Asian people would have if they were to see a red-head hobbling down a busy street in Tokyo. Oh yea, Gingers hobble, you didn't know? Oh, I guess I should intro-douche myself or at least give you and idea of what kind of bullshit you are about to read. Right! Well my name is Preston and for all intensive purposes I am white. So that was racism back there, just so we are clear. I recently relocated from my home state of Texas all the way to Altoona, Pennsylvania. Hence the title of this blog. I so clever. Basically I'll break it down real good for ya right here - I finger the best therapy for a transitional stage in life is to write about it. I'm sure actual therapy would help, but who does that? Weird people (white people).
I have always wanted to do a blog thingy anyway so if this is what motivates me who are you to judge me! To all of you who have something nasty to say about me, or other women that are built like me, I have one thing to say to you, KISS MY FAT ASS!! Oh sorry, that was Tyra. So you know, that will happen a lot. My mind goes a mile a minute so often I will quote something that has nothing to do with the topic, or may not even be real words. I can't promise that I wont at some point post a blog consisting only of letter/number combos I think look pretty together. For example, 8&8&8&8& or qpdb. Thems are pretty. Mostly this is a way for me to not feel crazy. I write "blogs" for my "audience" when in reality I am basically talking to myself and giggling at the little things I find funny. Which is what crazy people do! Well that and get in fist fights with Payphones. Speaking of, just in general... What happened to payphones? I remember the days when they were outside of every store, and on every corner. Where do drunk people pee now? Where do druggies call their dealers? Cell phones are erasing my childhood!
You'll notice some things are in pink text, these are facts. Just accept them as facts and your life will be greatly enriched. I finger some of you are skimmers out there so this gives you lazy ass farts a way to read my blog without actually reading it. In all honesty, it perturbs me that all books don't come with a skimming feature. Every single piece of literature no matter the subject should be published skimmer friendly. I like my books like I like my coffee; Awesome with Skim. That was a terrible joke, but I committed to it. So much so in fact that I will start ordering my coffee like that. Shows you! HA! Maybe someone else out there has thought of this already but what fun is paving the way? Who likes being the first at something? Not me. I want to know many people came before me and failed hard, got covered in shit and died in the process before I do ANYTHING. It really is the best way to live life. Also, did ja git it? I so clever.
Anyway, to sum this all up. I am going to post some really random shit on this and some deep shit. Now THAT shit is deep.
I heard this on Lizzie Mcguire when I was a kid and always wanted to use it -
Catch ya on the flip side!
No comments:
Post a Comment